Just as a disclaimer, I don't know if any studies have been done on anything I'm about to say nor do I feel like taking the time to check. The following is straight out of my head; I haven't taken any time to plan out the order it should be written in (so be prepared to jump from subject to subject and then back again), what I should write or anything else of the sort. I'm not even sure it'll be in AP format (though I'm sure I'll be asked to put it in that format eventually). So here we go...Actually, before we begin, please be aware that there might be some pictures throughout this post that aren't all rainbows and butterflys.
Domestic abuse. Most people, I'd think, have heard that term. I'm sure quite a few of the people who read this article can even remember someone they've seen with a busted up face or bruises on their arms-- and maybe the damage wasn't that bad; maybe you could barely notice it was there. Even more of you have probably never seen anyone like this. Some people ask, "If someone's being abused, wouldn't you be able to tell?"
Thus, a common misconception about abuse is born. You can't always see the damage left by abuse. First of all, domestic abuse comes in many different shapes and sizes: physical, emotional, sexual, threats, intimidation, isolation and even economic. Now, I'm not going to take the time to go into explaining the different facets of abuse in this post, but, my point is, people can hide the damage of abuse. The next question I frequently here is, "If someone's really being abused, wouldn't they call the cops or just leave?" And another misconception takes on the fetus form. Just because a victim of abuse won't seek help from the law or leave doesn't mean that they're not being abused. Neither does it mean (and it really irks the hell out of me that some people actually think this) that they like the abuse. ***Being a victim of abuse and having a reason as to why you won't leave that relationship or ask for help from the law is NOT the same as being a damn masochist.*** There are quite a few reasons, actually, that victims of abuse choose not to leave the relationship.
So here's the list of reasons I've compiled from the conversations I remember having with people (It's not in any specific order):
- Fear
- Lack of financial resources
- Loss of connection between them and their friends or family has lead to a lack of support if they were to leave
- Religion
- Children
- Health
- Love
The idea that "things will get better" - The rememberence of "what happened last time" they tried to leave
- Age
Again, I'm not going to take the time to go into each one of these reasons (though I'm sure some of them could use some kind of explanation-- but this post is more of a rant than anything else), but I just wanted to reiterate what so many survivors of abuse try to explain to the general public: there isn't enough education provided to the public about their options in the case of domestic abuse. The other issue is that the education about this kind of thing really needs to start in the school systems because some victims no longer have the luxury of the access to anything that might help them leave (like a domestic abuse prevention class).
I don't know where I was going with this post. Maybe it was just a way for me to let some things go.
